30 Funniest amazon reviews ever – funny amazon reviews 2019 natural gas jokes


Best review: Not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose gas bloating diarrhea. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I’ve ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I’ve had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me. Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell…the stench, like gas cap light 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn’t stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish gas vs electric oven was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005. — Christine E. Torok

Best review: I work in a small medical clinic and my boss is the doctor. It is not uncommon for him to walk by and crop dust his staff. These are the kind of farts that once electricity kwh to unit converter you smell it, your head snaps up, you nostrils burn like the fires gas efficient cars 2016 of hell and you know you are trapped in your desk area for at least 5 minutes. This is a minuscule offense compared to what he does to that unfortunate bathroom EVERY MORNING. The vomit inducing odors that vent from the office…odors that are so putrid it could gag a maggot, the kind that could make even the manliest of men weep like a teenage girl, are q card gas station most definitely the reason I searched the Google for products to stop the abomination seeping from his anal cavity. When I found PooPourri, it promised to banish all odors, including the severest of offenders, such as my boss electricity merit badge worksheet. When the package arrived, we told the Dr. to go test this product. A few minutes later he emerged stating ‘it smells like I crapped a lemon drop.’ Success, THANK YOU JESUS! — Alexandra Collins

Best review: My husband and I have been arguing about what to fill the large wall on the stairs with for months. He wanted a mirror, I wanted a large image of an old woman electricity history united states using an inhaler. Having always been a little bit of a boundary pusher and somewhat of a décor daredevil, he’s always come up with these odd suggestions. A mirror, ha! When he suggested it, I actually laughed in his face. Then I told my friends who also laughed. One questioned why I married him. She actually gave me the idea in the first place as she has a large decal above her fireplace, a beautiful piece named ‘man with hearing aid gas oil ratio units.’ It’s like you can almost see him tweak at the volume. Real art.

Anyway back to ‘woman with breathing difficulties.’ Of course I won, and my husband, being a stubborn old gas in back symptoms mule, walks down the stairs with his eyes closed now because as he says ‘he can’t stand to look at it’ although I have a feeling it’s more to do with how he can’t stand staring defeat in the face! The funny thing is, having walked down the stairs with his eyes closed for weeks without a fall, all of a sudden it happened and he broke both his legs. I took this opportunity to face him directly in front of this amazing art until he appreciated it. I also took artistic photos of him q gases componen el aire and sent them to Wallmonkeys in case they wanted a decal of ‘man with walking difficulties.’ — Book Addict