A year in review (2018) just another asshole who blogs gas mask tattoo


I began this year trying to temper my optimism by reminding myself graduate school was a pipe dream, but I didn’t really believe I wouldn’t get in. I put in all the work—took the tests, wrote the essays, sought the recommenders, compiled the three-tab spreadsheet to keep the schools, required materials, and deadlines straight. I spent the money—a lot of money—on applications. gas bloating frequent urination And then, over the course of two months, letters arrived in my inbox and mailbox. Only a few schools paid for postage. All of them said the same thing.

During Pride weekend I dragged my significant other downtown for the Pride Parade and felt weirdly invisible standing in the crowd next to him: my cisgender/heterosexual boyfriend. In July, I flew home to the Midwest and, while there, I met up with my high school crush Lauren in Iowa City. My SO had encouraged me to talk to her, because she kept coming up as sort of “the one that got away” and we both thought it would be good for me to figure out if it was all in my head or if she’d had feelings for me, too. (As it turned out, I wasn’t delusional—just years too late.)

I’d already written my personal essay for August—about my experience as a queer girl growing up in Iowa. electricity physics I shared it with Lauren, who thanked me for letting her read it and gave me permission to use her name. A few days later I casually mentioned August’s essay topic to my mother, whom I thought already understood I was bisexual, and she responded incredulously, asking me, “Why would you do that?” and “What are people going to think?” It was especially hurtful because just the month before she’d bought us both pride shirts, and I’d taken that as evidence of her support.

My best friend and I had a few difficult but necessary heart-to-hearts. We talked about the ways our friendship has changed and the ways it’s still changing—and also the ways each of us is changing: growing up, getting older. We openly discussed the ways we’ve felt hurt and distanced by each other. We cried and hugged and afterward felt better. 9gag And now we’re trying to do better, to keep our friendship growing along with us.

I spent the first 9 days of March in Kauai, Hawaii with my SO and his family. The highlights of the trip included . . . pretty much everything. Except maybe the part where I cut and smashed my left foot on lava rock at the very first beach we visited on our very first full day. But everything else! I succeeded in my mission to find an authentic coconut (with water and meat); saw a green flash at sunset; snorkeled (kind of); ate delicious vegetarian poke; fell in love with Polihale beach; discovered an inexhaustible enthusiasm for island chickens; watched giant sea turtles riding waves from our balcony; and so much more.

I started working as a bookseller for Phinney Books! It’s a very part-time gig so far, but already I’ve overcome the cash register anxiety of my teenage years; I also feel that I’ve grown as a reader (and become much more conscious of the market). electricity distribution network When we booksellers were asked to make a Top 10 Books of All-Time list, I found that my list was pretty equally male and female and featured both queer and straight authors; it was also overwhelmingly white. My Top 10 Books for this year followed a similar pattern.

On the same day as my first official shift at Phinney Books, I began a writing class at Hugo House: Writing Fiction That Dares with Sonora Jha. It reminded me of workshop/writing classes in college, which I’ve missed (and which were a big motivation for pursuing graduate school). Because I was in between drafts three and four for my second novel, it motivated me to write the first two chapters of my third. Between my bookstore shift and class, Tuesday instantly became my favorite day of the week.

This October was the first good October I’ve had in three years. grade 9 electricity test and answers Every weekend Rylan and I went out and did something fun and seasonally appropriate. We visited haunted corn mazes and forests, family farms and pumpkin patches. We watched horror movies. We carved pumpkins, roasted their seeds, and drank spiked apple cider. I still missed Grandma a lot this year, but I cried a little bit less.