Airplane! – wikiquote electricity font


• Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking. We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused. This is due to periodic air pockets we encountered. There’s no reason to become alarmed and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Dialogue [ edit ] LA Control Tower: Flight 2-0-9’er, you are cleared for take-off. Oveur: Roger. Murdock: Huh? LA Control Tower: L.A. departure frequency: 1-2-3 point 9’er. Oveur: Roger. Murdock: Huh? Basta: Request vector, over. Oveur: What? LA Control Tower: Flight 2-0-9’er, clear for vector 2-3-4. Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence. Oveur: Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?

Striker: The stewardess said… [Before he could say that she told him the pilot needed help, he notices that only the autopilot is flying the plane] BOTH pilots?! Rumack: Can you fly this plane and land it? Striker: Surely you can’t be serious? Rumack: I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.

[Elaine and Rumack investigate the fish poisoning] Elaine: Doctor, Mr. Hammen ate fish, and Randy said there are five more cases, and they all had fish, too. Rumack: And the co-pilot had fish. What did the navigator have? Elaine: He had fish. Rumack: All right, now we know what we’re up against. Every passenger on this plane had fish for dinner will become violently ill in the next half hour. Elaine: Just how serious is it? Rumack: Extremely serious. It starts with a slight fever and dryness of the throat. [Oveur starts suffering from these] Rumack: When the virus penetrates the red blood cells, the victim becomes dizzy, begins to experience an itchy rash… [Oveur suffers from those as well] Rumack: …then the poison goes to work on the central nervous system, severe muscle spasms followed by the inevitable drooling. [Oveur also suffers from these] Rumack: At this point, the entire digestive system collapses accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence. [Oveur does] Rumack: Until finally, the poor bastard is reduced to a quivering wasted piece of jelly. [Oveur collapses completely at the controls and the plane plummets, people swaying back and forth, and warning sign comes on saying "No Smoking – Rows 11-51, No Sexual Intercourse – Rows 13-51"]

Dr. Rumack: Captain, these passengers don’t have much time. How soon can we land? Oveur: I can’t tell. Dr. Rumack: You can tell me, I’m a doctor. Oveur: What I mean is, I don’t know. Dr. Rumack: Well can’t you take a guess? Oveur: …Not for another two hours. Dr. Rumack: You can’t take a guess for another two hours? Oveur: No what I’m saying is we can’t land for another two hours.

Joey: Wait a minute. I know you. You’re Kareem Abdul-Jabbar! You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers! Murdock: I’m sorry, son, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Roger Murdock. I’m the co-pilot. Joey: You are Kareem! I’ve seen you play. My dad’s got season tickets. Murdock: I think you should go back to your seat now, Joey. Right, Clarence? Oveur: Nah, he’s not bothering anyone, let him stay here. Murdock: [shows his nametag] But just remember, my name is Roger Murdock. I’m an airline pilot. Joey: I think you’re the greatest, but my dad says you don’t work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don’t even run down court. And that you don’t really try, except during the playoffs. Murdock: The hell I don’t! [looks around to make sure no one is watching and grabs Joey by the shirt up close] Listen, kid. I’ve been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I’m out there busting my buns every night! Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.

Steve: He’ll never bring it down in this soup. Never! Not one chance in a million. Rex: I know. I know. But it’s his ship now, his command; he’s in charge, he’s the boss, the head man, the top dog, the big cheese, the head honcho, number one… Taglines [ edit ]