Can the breakup cycle be avoided – bipolar relationships forum – ehealthforum v gas station

##

It is clear that the act of repeatedly breaking up with one’s significant other is a trait for many people who are bipolar. I am in a fairly new relationship but this is already a cycle I find myself in. Everything is great, then he enters a depressed state and says "maybe we should just break up"- but can’t give any real reasons for wanting to do so. Then within days their mood elevates and they want to stay together.

When in between the moods- has anyone found a successful way of avoiding the "let’s breakup" scenario. The last time I experienced this I asked if he would take a few days apart to think about it, and I would do the same, and inevitably we did get back together and he admitted that his own insecurities/fears/depression were what led him to wanting to break up. But I, like many of you, don’t know how much of the on again off again I can take- I deeply care for my bf and want him in my life, but the instability is very difficult. If I don’t hear from him for a day I fear he is on the verge of threatening a break up again… thanks.

@AgainSeriously You sound like you have had a bad experience with bipolar person, but it is completely 100% unfair to clump all people with this disorder into one group, as if they’re all some kind of demonic clones. I was diagnosed a few months ago, and I can tell you that if someone I loved left, I would be devastated and would definitely give them more than just a "second thought". Also, you cannot take an extreme, tabloid culture example and generalize it to a whole category of people that are just that–people, with different needs and more intense emotions. I applaud this woman for trying to stick with her boyfriend through his ups and downs, I would love to find someone to do the same for me.

Don’t make us into some kind of crazy beasts. I can tell you that bipolar people, from what I have heard, are the most intelligent, and often times intensely creative and artistic. If you think ‘those people’ are monstrous, you must think Amy Winehouse, Sylvia Plath, and Catherine Zeta-Jones are ‘monsterous’ sociopaths that are ‘ruthless’. What are you even saying?

I think you are not helping her at all–she is asking for help in coping with her boyfriends erratic behavior, not in advice on how to leave him. Just do as the question asks and stop demonizing people. The disorder didn’t even exist until recently as an actual way of being.

I tried everything with my ex-husband of 6 years. Took him back after he disappeared for 2 months. He was always leaving me. All the love, caring and understanding in the world couldn’t stop him from leaving me all of the umteen- million times. It was the final draw for me when he moved out and said that’s it, he was filing for divorce. for months he was out womanizing and the divorce had been filed. I was seeing someone (bipolar number 2-I’ll get to that in a bit) when I get the call from the ex that he wanted to end it all. I go over to his place and it was a nightmare. Ultimately, he tried to come back but had another girl in the wing holding it over my head.

As to guy two…we lived long distance 2 1/2 yrs. It was fantastic…pulled me in after the first year..then the strange, dropping off started happening. He’s a rapid cycler (different from ex1) so he’d come around again within a week or so. We had a really bad spell 3 years ago this time…dumped me for someone else and came back within a month. Eventually my older boys and I moved in with him and his 3 kids he has part-time. We were engaged…a family… in love…until the episode hit hard mid november. Got horribly drunk at my company party. When I confronted him, it got bad. He was mean and uncaring and withdrew. He has been busy erasing me. Gave me a cold letter to vacate by end of January…it’s over, loves me but not in love anymore. I am busy packing and he is busy avoiding me…comes home at midnight. I don’t know if he’s seeing someone. I’m moving out by next week. I’m so crushed…love him so much, but nothing I can do. He’s never been diagnosed that I know of but believes he is bipolar..I have no doubt. I am probably one of the most forgiving people and I have never picked at him or nagged. All in all, no matter how much love and support I gave these two relationships, I could not prevent either of them from kicking me out of their lives. heart-broken