Four lessons to take away from barbara bush’s time on earth columns la gas prices average


I have nothing against the chemical and surgical ways we employ to mask our aging. If those procedures give you more confidence to face a harsh, judgmental and youth-obsessed world, then God bless you. However, I deeply admire people who wear the predations of age proudly and without apology. Barbara Bush‘s hair apparently turned white when her 3-year-old daughter Robin died of leukemia.

Whether or not she left her hair white as a memorial to her daughter does not matter. What matters is that white was the real color of her hair and she was comfortable in her own hair. Her white hair was an inescapable sign that she was not trying to deceive or improve or evade her true physical state. Such self-confidence is rare in people and even rarer among women in the gender-constrained times in which she was born. I admire that confidence greatly and I hope we can all learn the great lesson of her white hair.

Barbara Bush had crow’s feet wrinkles around her eyes. The crow’s feet were in part another body lesson like that of her white hair, but her wrinkles include a larger lesson. Yes, she never had those wrinkles chemically obliterated, but the important thing is how they got there in the first place. In order to get Barbara Bush’s smile wrinkles you would have had to smile as much as Barbara Bush. Our face is the unimpeachable witness to our nature. If we are happy and smile to express that joy, our face records our joy in smile wrinkles.

Conversely, if we are always fearful and grumpy our face becomes permanently creased with frown wrinkles. Now since the world gives us all more than enough reasons to smile or to frown, it is our choice how we choose to crease our faces. Barbara Bush chose to crease her face with a lifetime of smiles and so can we. You could say that she lived a life of privilege and so her smiling was easy, but she lost a child who was just 3 years old, she moved 26 times and her private life was annihilated by the harsh light of a political warfare. To me, her smiles represented a remote human achievement that is also available to us all.

By all accounts (and I saw this as well) Barbara and George were always holding hands and were often laughing. It is no wonder to me that they were married for 73 years. When I interview couples intending marriage I look for two things as they sit before me. Do they touch each other for no reason and do they laugh? Touching is a sign that they want and need physical contact to bring each other comfort and to say, "I love you" without using words. Laughter is the sure sign that the two people are comfortable with each other and appreciate each other and do not take things too seriously.

Barbara Bush used humor to deprecate herself. When she became first lady she said, "Many fat, white-haired ladies are pretty happy right now." She was also wickedly funny. One of the reasons for this eulogy was that I deeply admired her but another reason was to be able to tell a joke I heard from her that still makes me smile. Clean, funny jokes are not that common, and this is one of the best: