Must everything ‘link’ to something daily democrat mississippivalleypublishing.com electricity transmission loss

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Oh, the next thing I know, the cheery person is posting a link to some drink, commenting she will give me a free sample and when I order these drinks, mention her code number and she gets a prize. Well, I simply wanted to know if it was Folgers or Maxwell House that had her so perky in the morning. I don’t think I want to wake up to a green sludge drink when I am used to hot, black coffee. So, I politely say no thanks and move on.

Ah!!! A picture! And she looks great, so yep, I hit the “like” button. Next thing I know, I am given a link to some magical, mystical cream from thousands of years ago, that can erase 20 years of sleepless nights, bad decisions, and every illness known to man for only a hundred dollars for a two week supply. Well, if I had a hundred dollars of floating money every two weeks, chances are I wouldn’t need the mystical cream to look better.

Clicking off the computer, I settle in for an old Perry Mason episode and my fourth and fifth cups of coffee. By this time I am beginning to feel human again, and actually consider brushing my hair and putting on some make up to head for the store, hoping something will jump out at me and say “I sound good for supper.” This has never happened, but there is always hope.

As I am currently contemplating cutting off a good portion of my long hair, I tend to glance around at real life people and see how their hair looks, and then think about how much time and effort there would be in achieving that look. Usually it is considerably more time and effort than my current hairstyle of grab a scrunchie or a plastic claw and clamp my hair into a semblance of a pony tail or a messy bun.

However, at times I will see a hair style that not only looks great, but appears to need little work and no hair spray. I happily approach this person and comment on their hair, hoping for a suggestion of what kind of cut to ask for. But no, suddenly the persons’ purse can put Mary Poppins satchel to shame. Sample after sample of strange named jars, bottles and sprays are handed to me, with a paper that, yes, has a link along with the persons’ code so when I order a few hundred dollars worth of hair products, not only does she get a prize, but I get my own code, and my own Mary Poppins satchel of endless hair products. Handing the samples back, I mumble something about needing Pepto Bismol and toilet paper for a sick household, and that seems to send the hair lady in the other direction.

Exiting the store, I stop and glance at the bulletin board that usually holds lost pets’ pictures and offers of babysitting. But school fundraisers are breathing their last gasp, and there it is… 25 lbs. of oranges for a special price just for you by clicking on this link and using your school’s code. Oh, good heavens. What on earth would I do with 25 lbs. of oranges? And underneath that, you can also get 20 lbs. of Vidalia onions. I like oranges, and Vidalia onions…..but 45 lbs.? No, no, I think I’ll just grab the one onion I need and a couple of oranges, and I don’t even have to click on a link.

Arriving safely at home by avoiding talking to anyone, thereby not complimenting anyone, I am once again sucked into the whirlpool of Facebook as I savor my one splurge of French Vanilla Cappuccino – $1.79 for a large cup of the best cappuccino I’ve tried and it comes from the gas station/convenience store in town. A cheap enough addiction that I indulge in when in town.

Scrolling down the pictures, the news, the good, bad and the ugly of friends and friends of friends, and then cousins of those friends, I see something funny. It’s a meme, it’s cute, I think…what could this be selling? What link is it going to send me to, so my friends’ friends’ cousins’ friend can get a prize. I close my eyes and quickly click the “ha ha” button. Nothing happens….. nothing. Facebook records that I found that funny. That’s it!!!

I relax a bit and continue reading and scrolling, albeit with more caution and thinking twice as I don’t want to be inundated with “free” samples that end up not being free. I like one shirt, and I am suddenly transported to a world of a thousand similar shirts just waiting to take up space in my closet. I know how this works now.

I noticed a picture of a cat and considered a heart button for this cute kitten, but suddenly visions of kittens invading my home like tribbles aboard the Enterprise (Star Trek, people) fill my imagination and I draw back from the emoji buttons.

By the way, yes your dog is cute, and no, I’m not going to “like” it, same scenario as the kittens, just with dogs instead. And as far as all those new baby pictures? Well, at the age of 62 I am taking no chances, so I’ll say all babies are adorable, kissable and lovable, but I’m afraid Facebook isn’t going to know I said that.