Nyt bestselling author gretchen rubin shares her best happiness advice gas bloating pregnancy

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I interviewed Gretchen Rubin, the #1 New York Times bestselling author, podcast host and gaslighting happiness guru, on her new book, Outer Order, Inner Calm (which is released today). Gretchen and I discussed many topics, including the key to a happier life, how getting in control of your stuff can make you happier and healthier, the power of “before and after,” the one question that can help you make better decisions and reduce stress, her writing process, her best career advice and five things you don’t know about her but should.

Ancient philosophers and contemporary scientists would agree that relationships are a key. To be happy, we have to have strong, intimate bonds and feel like we belong. We have to feel like we can confide. We need to be able to get support, and just as important for happiness is we need to be able to give support. If you look at people who are happier, they are people who have more relationships in their lives. Think of anything you would do to expand or deepen your relationships, whether it’s joining a book club, planning a party, going to your college reunion or going to a destination wedding. In my family, we believe in warm hellos and goodbyes. You don electricity experiments for 4th graders’t just grunt out a “hello” when someone is coming. You really acknowledge that someone is coming.

The other way to think about a happier life is self-knowledge because we can build a healthy life only on the foundation of what’s true about ourselves. There’s no magic “one fits all solution.” Part of it is looking in the mirror and thinking what’s actually true for me, not what I assume is true for everybody or what other people expect from me or the way I wish I were. It’s thinking about self-knowledge, my own values, my own interests, my own temperament.

For most people, however, they do feel that if they got rid of things they don’t love, they feel more energized. Get the stuff that’s clogging the system out of the way. For most people, it is disproportionately true that getting outer order does give people a sense of energy, calm and possibility. They really do feel better – they feel a lot better – that’s why it’s worth doing.

Rubin: There all kinds of ways that people are like each other and ways n gas price that they are different. When you know what you’re like, you can set things up in a way that’s better for you. You can also be less judgmental of other people. You can say, “They just see the world in a different way.” This relates to abundance levers and simplicity levers. Some people love abundance, and they want beautiful things and collections. It’s not that one way is right and better. Think about what’s right for you.

I am a simplicity lover. Are you a counter-clearer or a counter-filler? My aim is always to get everything off the counter. Some people want their counters filled. They want a spoon rest and their little vase on the counter. I don’t have to judge you. You just like things in a different way than I do. Maybe we need to arrive in a place where we can both be comfortable, but I’m not going to convince you what’s right and wrong. It’s just a matter of preference electricity deregulation in california.

Some things are easier to change than others. Exercising is a great before and after. It’s super exciting, but in a way, it’s easier to clean out your coat closet. You’ll get more instant gratification from that. If you need a quick fix, clean out your medicine cabinet. From my research into habits, I’ve learned that cleaning out your medicine gas 1940 hopper cabinet might make it easier for you to exercise regularly. All these things are inter-related. As we feel more in control of our stuff, we start to feel more in control of our lives. Getting control of a really messy car can make it easier to eat more healthfully because there’s a sense of greater order and self-command that is reinforcing. You can clean your car in an hour and feel great. Eating healthfully is the long game. You can still have the before and after excitement, exhilaration and rocket fuel.

Depending on how you meet these expectations, you’re either an upholder, questioner, obliger or rebel. These are known as the Four Tendencies. Upholders meet outer and inner expectations. Questioners question all expectations and will do something if it makes sense. They resist anything that’s arbitrary, inefficient or irrational. They are always looking for why. Obligers readily meet outer expectations, but electricity lessons ks1 they struggle to meet inner expectations. For example, they can’t clean up the guest room for a year, but when company is coming in a week, they clean up the guest room. Rebels resist all expectations – they do what they want to do. If you tell them to do something, they are likely to resist.

Rubin: My thing is reading. That’s where I do my research and get ideas. I read a lot and am constantly taking notes. I have huge documents where I take notes on a particular subject even before I know it will turn into something. Sometimes, it turns into something, and sometimes it doesn’t. I take notes and then say that this could be a hook. I was working on Outer Order, Inner Calm as a fun side project as I was writing The Four Tendencies. It really comes from note taking. It’s one of my favorite things to do.

When I start to write a book, I have hundreds of pages of notes that are giving me ideas or reminding me of ideas. So, I never really face a blank page when I am writing a book. When I read a book, I am marking it up. If it’s a library book, it’s post it notes. When I am done with a book, I will type the notes. If I am on a walk k electric bill statement, and I have an idea, I’ll use my phone and then type the notes.

Rubin: “The days are long, but the years are short” – that’s probably the one that’s most often quoted to me. Another thing people quote back to me is “What you do every day matters more than what you do once in awhile.” That strikes a chord with people. It’s a really interesting process to try to distill. Even things like “Soap and water removes most stains” is another practical thing that resonates. With “The Secrets of Adulthood,” I like to debate for months in my head whether I think something is really electricity word search pdf true. Some of them are proverbs such as “A stumble may prevent a fall,” which many people have said has helped them to reframe mistakes and errors.

• Avoid drift. Drift is the decision you make by not deciding. It’s going to medical school because your parents are both doctors. You go law school because you’re good at research and writing and don’t know what else to do. It’s easier to go along than to really do the hard of thinking “What do I want?” and “What am I good at it?” Avoid drift. Always try to make purposeful decisions. Do things because you want to do them.