Rocko’s modern life – wikiquote 9gag nsfw

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• You CHEAP LITTLE ROTTER! I’ve been run over by a car, made to drag around a gimp shopping cart, threatened by your Gestapo security guards, had me head set on fire, I was attacked by wild lobsters, beaten by a very large woman, had me dog wrapped in plastic, nearly starved to death, and I still beat the 12:00 deadline! So if you don’t change that total back to $1.50, I WILL DO SOMETHING NOT NICE!!!!!

• Rocko, you gotta help me. I— (realizes he has an umbrella open in the house, and throws it out the door and accidentally breaks off the doorknob) You know that fortune cookie? (realizes he’s holding the doorknob and attempts to reattach it) Well, after that, I’ve been walking around, and these black cats start following me. And then I’m in this store, and these mirrors start breaking. And then there’s this fire, and everyone’s screaming. And Big Man’s nipples go crazy. And the pigeon— (gets slammed by the door and picks it back up) And the pigeon says, "Hey, it’s a trick!" And everyone screams, "IT’S THE TURTLE!!! IT’S THE TURTLE!!!!" (the whole house falls apart) I think I’m bad luck, Rocko.

Heffer: "Ladies and gentlemen, you’re about to witness one of the seven wonders of the world. At about 11:30 eastern-standard time through "this", our buddy Rocko will descend the staircase as he does every night for a glass of milk." Filburt: "And he ain’t dressed for the occasion if ya know what I mean!" Heffer: "Hehehe yep, you heard right he’s completely… "naked!" Filburt: "With no clothes on!"

Peaches: I am the Dark Underlord, the Prince of Doom, the King of Eternal Torment! I am Pain! I am Evil! They call me… Peaches! Heffer: Peaches? Peaches: (normal voice) Would ya let me finish? (dark voice) You will rot in torment forever! (laughs) Heffer: Peaches? Peaches: (normal voice) Okay. Heffer. Pffffft. Oh, that’s a good name, I — (slaps self) What was I saying? (flips up fiery pit scene to reveal nothing) Just forget it. Heffer: But wait, I though that — Peaches: (still in normal voice) Ah, that’s for the tourists. Heffer: Wow, look at all the trees. (reading a sign) "Welcome to O-Town National Forest." Rocko: (reading another sign) "Enjoy Nature’s Splendor." Rocko and Heffer: (seeing the Conglom-O Mall) Oooooooooooh, splendor. {Rocko is on subway, which stops abruptly} ANNOUNCER: Passengers we are sorry for the delay, but the train has stopped due to police activity. ROCKO: Police activity? ANNOUNCER: And today’s police activity is {cuts to police officers doing arts and crafts} arts and crafts! {train horn sounds} OFFICER: Hey! I’m painting’ eggs here! [Impound Lot, everyone else is in line to get their cars back. In front of the line is a disgruntled Mr. Smitty who had parked in a no parking zone.] Mr. Smitty: I want my car back and I want it, NOW! Impound Lot Director: Let’s take a look at this chart, shall we? [He sternly pulls down the chart and Mr. Smitty frowns.]

Heffer: We’re home! [Rocko, Heffer, Filburt and Spunky run out of the house cheering.] Filburt: Let’s frolic innocently in nature! Rocko: Um, fellas? Heffer and Filburt: Yeah? Rocko: I don’t think we’re in the ’90s anymore. [Pull out to reveal how much O-Town has changed.] Rocko, Heffer, and Filburt: Yeah!!! Heffer: Check it out! I got the new oPhone 8! Filburt: Big whoop! I got the new oPhone 9! Rocko: This is a phone? Where are all the buttons? Heffer: This food’s truck got pizza tacos! Filburt: I got a wiener taco! Heffer: I got a taco taco inside another taco! Filburt: What did you get, Rocko? Rocko: Food poisoning! [vomits] Other [ edit ]

• Father Lion: (while Mt. Frosty guy makes off with his family’s skis) And remember, children, always keep an eye on your equipment. There’s alot of people who’d just walk up and grab everything you leave standing. Just like that, gone. Then what are you gonna do?